Alive On the Outside, Deceased On the Inside

A lot of great things have been unfolding in my life as of late, I must say. I am starting to see my blessings come to fruition. Breakthroughs have made themselves known throughout 2019 so far. However, behind all the success - I am still dealing with emotional peril. I feel alone, to the extent that it's starting to morph into misery. For every time that I succeed, I have to lose a follower, a friend, or a partner. The top is lonely. I am still angry because a lot of f'd up shit is happening in the world. I know some people who are doing and saying very sucky things. Does that make me happy? No. Am I alive? Yes. Blessed to be. On the outside, that is. The inside? I'm as dead as a pigeon.